Humor

You Know You Have A Real Jeep If . . .

• You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside
• You determine that the best route from Point A to Point B is through a rock pile or over a mountain
• You call a scratch or a dent, a beauty mark
• You roll it over and don’t get upset
• Your mom or your sister can’t get in without help
• You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb
• You puke when you see a RAV-4
• You get custom pin-striping from trail brush
• A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you get out and bitch-slap the driver
• It takes more than 6 hours to get donuts
• You pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days
• You take your friends wheeling and they say „What trail; I don’t see a trail!“
• You’ve been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ, and XJ to your spell-checker
• You can see OVER a Suburban
• You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up
• Your Nerf bars battle rocks and win
• It rains and you don’t care that your tops and doors are off
• You drive around to look at Christmas lights topless
• You change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break
• Your „Parts Department“ is on blocks behind your house
• You take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again
• You use an ice-scraper on the inside of the windshield
• You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents
• Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints
• Passengers scream „DON’T ROLL IT!“ when you take them wheeling
• You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other
• Winter comes and your can’t remember where you left your top
• You spend more on car washes than on insurance
• Even worse, the car wash won’t let you in
• You fix almost everything yourself
• You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser
• You have all your credit card numbers memorized
• You slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground
• You get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it
• Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it
• You are the only one on the street who doesn’t plow their driveway
• You are dating the Service, Parts, or Sales Manager at your local Jeep dealership
• You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily
• You can’t hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway
• You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep
• You think that any tire that isn’t waist high looks like a bagel
• You can’t take a girl, who’s wearing a dress, on a date without carrying along a set of steps
• You can’t sneak into church late because the engine is too loud
• You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage
• You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it’s most damaging trail accident
• You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep
• You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station
• You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm
• You’re constantly getting passed on the highway
• Your wallet is always empty!